Monday, March 7, 2011

Comparing Ourselves to Others

I've really been thinking about comparisons lately. I think as human beings, especially as moms, we tend to look at others and compare. Comparing is a bad thing because it either makes us feel bad about ourselves or it makes us feel good about ourselves. And of course we either compare our best to someone's worst or our worst to someone's best. That makes it all the worse.

I know that I've done that a lot. I've looked at what others do well and then feel bad about myself. Or I've looked at people and what they are doing and think, "I should do that." The problem is, I am not that person. I don't have their personality, interests, husband, house, children, or life. It may not work with what I am trying to accomplish in my life and my family.

I say that to say:

* Know yourself - know who God created you to be, what your personality is, what your interests are, and what works for you (some people are morning people, some are night people; some people enjoy classical music and tea on china, some people like rock music and a soda; some people like to spend hours getting dolled up, others have a 20 minute "get ready routine").

* Know your spouse (and their needs/interests) - know who God created your spouse to be, what their personality is, what their interests are, and what works for them (some spouses need lots of attention and quality time, others are happier to be alone sometimes; some spouses like to go to nice restaurants, others are happy at a fast food joint).

* Know your family (and their needs/interests) - know how God designed your family, each person's needs and interests, and what works for your family (some families are outdoors families, some enjoy being indoors more; some families like to spend lots of time together, some not so much).

* Know your schedule and how much time you have to do things - some families have a stay-at-home parent, others have 2 working parents; some families have lots of time in the morning or night, some families have more time during the day; some families have military parents; etc).

* Know your goals for your family - spiritual, physical, mental, educational, recreational (every family is different).

* Know what really matters to you (AKA your priorities).
When you really know yourself, your spouse, your family, your home, your schedule, and your priorities, you don't have to worry about what other people are doing. You can look to them for ideas that might work for yourself or your family, but don't think, "I have to be just like them."

I hope that has helped you in some way.

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