Tuesday, January 11, 2011

When Things Are Crazy

Sometimes you have crazy days, or weeks, or even months. Having just come off a twin pregnancy, dealing with the loss of my baby, and having a newborn, my life has been unpredictable, emotional, and at times, down right depressing hindering my motivation to do much of anything.

I had people in and out of my house for 6 weeks taking over my usual tasks which I was super thankful for, but it made me quite dependent and then the people were gone and I had to figure out how to do it all on my own again. Then we had Thanksgiving, all of the CHRISTmas stuff, CHRISTmas, and New Year's.

I finally feel like we are settling into our new life with two children. It's tough accepting that I don't have Alexis, but I am learning to accept it a little more each day. There are days when I get so sad and depressed that I just can't function minus taking care of the kids. I think that is normal.

I have decided that instead of pressuring myself to have the perfect house and schedule, that I am going to just focus on getting a few things accomplished each day. Here are those things:

1) Take care of Luke and Nathan - Feed them, play with them, relax with them, take care of their personal hygiene needs.

2) Homeschool Luke - It only takes 30-45 minutes a day, so if I get behind we can just double up one day. Before it would upset me if we didn't do it every day, but now I realize that some days it's just not the right day.

3) Cook dinner - My goal is to cook every night (minus church night and eating out night).

4) Do some laundry - My goal is to keep the laundry caught up doing roughly a load or two each day.

5) Straighten up frequently used spaces - Den, kitchen, master bed, homeschool space.

6) Keep the kitchen cleaned and useable - Wash dishes, load/unload dishwasher, wipe counters/table, and sweep.

7) Wash bottles/pump supplies - I just rinse all the stuff during the day and then wash it all one time a day.

8) Pump 3x a day - I have decided that being attached to my pump 7 times a day is ridiculous and made me more depressed. I'd rather spend that time with my family. So now I am pumping in the morning, before bed, and once during the day. I know my milk supply won't be as good, but I am fine with doing some formula to supplement.

9) Make bottles - I make 7-8 bottles one time a day. I put 2oz of pumped breastmilk in them and put them in the fridge. When we need one, we add 2oz water and a scoop of formula.

10) Relax, rest, sleep, and spend time with Lee - Downtime is essential to functioning. Lee does the last feeding of the night (around 11 or 12) and then I do the middle of the night feeding. It helps me get more sleep.

I know that it helps me to have things to accomplish each day in order to feel better but putting too much pressure on myself can stress me out. I don't want to have extra stress while I have Nathan and am still grieving my loss of Alexis. I am thankful that God has taught me so much through all of this.

What are your must-dos for each day?

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